The Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osbourne, announced today that the coalition Government plans to invade Iceland in an attempt to retrieve the £3.2bn owed from the collapse of Landsbanki. These funds would be instrumental in lowering the budget deficit inherited from the previous Government.
Addressing a selection of press and military figures, Osbourne announced the 'imminent and moral' invasion. "This Coalition will not stand-by and let these chaps laugh at us, at the expense of the tax-payer. War is the last resort but we need to sort out this commie debt yard and fast. Besides, I'm sure we could sort out this volcano business while we're there"
Critics have been quick to slam the plans, drawing parallels with the Argentine Falkland invasion of the early 80's. Osbourne, however, was quick to dismiss rumours that the invasion was merely a distraction from the fact that he couldn't find the promised £6bn efficiency savings without endangering the health of economy.
A spokesman for the Royal Forces expressed enthusiasm for the project but warned that the conflict would require a 'few bill extra' to the budget.