The BBC has rejected claims that "It's Boyling in here", a docudrama charting the creation of the London 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony, is being aired too soon after the event. "A week is easily enough time to gain historic perspective on Danny Boyle's achievement' said a spokesman. 'We couldn’t get Michael Sheen on board this time, but we’re confident Ray Winston will gain plaudits in the title role, even if he has added a few unscripted head butts of Lord Coe in the first scene.’
The docudrama overcame many obstacles, including no access to Boyle himself, no idea what was actually in the opening ceremony, and the impossibility of finding authentic Islington clothing from 2011. ‘In Boyle's part of town, last season's fashion is collected by hazardous waste experts and burnt each Christmas’ explained the spokesman. 'We had to get permission from Boden to recreate their catalogue-before-last’.
Perhaps the most controversial dramatic imagining is the scene suggesting that Rupert Murdoch tried to interfere with the show. On hearing that key moments in British History are to be portrayed, Murdoch (played by Barry Cryer) storms Boyle's office and demands a re-enactment of the siege of Wapping, in which capitalist ingenuity smashes the absurd ways of the print unions. ‘If you don’t,’ he snarls’, your arse is gonna be all over the front page of the Sun.’ Boyle assuages Murdoch by assuring him one of the Victorian industrialists will have corks dangling from his top hat, as homage to all that Australian free marketeers have done for Britain.
The most sensitive part of the drama handles the grief of families unable to attend the event. ‘It may only have been a cancelled BMX demonstration, but we’re talking about still-raw emotion, even after all this time’ said the spokesman.’ Still, if this one’s well received, we’ll move onto the feature film “Isle of Wonder 2: Be afeard, be very afeard”’