Rumours are circulating this evening that official Olympic broadcaster, the BBC, may have to call on the assistance of the already beleaguered armed forces to supply emergency presenters to help shore up its wall-to-wall coverage of the 2012 games. Fingers are being pointed in particular at what some are calling the pointless and unnecessary lengthy coverage of "non" and "Mickey Mouse" sports as being the root cause of the problem.
Head of Outside Broadcasting, Reg Williams, maintained a discreet silence on the matter during a press conference earlier, when he ignored questions suggesting that presenters are succumbing to chronic fatigue and exhaustion at having to endlessly fill and speculate on totally marginalised sports such as Finn Class Sailing and Blancmange Sculpting.
Backing up their argument media watchers cited the case of Hazel Irvine who was in front of the cameras at 7.30am yesterday morning talking to studio guests; more than a full 4 hours before the start of the live coverage of the leaf and brass-rubbing preliminary heats. However a defensive Mr Williams would only say, "I believe that all of our staff are doing a wonderful job covering the greatest show on earth."
A member of the production crew who did not wish to be identified commented, "This sort of thing can't go on unchecked for long before there is a major casualty in my opinion; and in fact much more of it and it could lead to fatalities."
In the first three days of competition so far the corporation has broadcast a staggering 6,300 hours of output across its twenty-five viewing and audio platforms; figures yet to be confirmed suggest that out of that colossal number only 16.4 hours have actually featured live sporting activity in the accepted sense of the word, and even that figure is being disputed in some quarters as at least 3 of these were horse trials.
Sue barker and Hazel Irvine have been conspicuously absent from our screens today and Clare Balding was said to be "looking a bit williky" when she hosted this morning's five hour marathon stoat fettling first round.
Wing Commander Brigadier Lord High Admiral of the Fleet, Sir Terence Dunstan-Thorpe, told The Sun earlier, "We have faced bigger problems in the past and if we are called upon to once more step into the breach and do our bit for the country then we shall certainly do our best. Though Christ knows where the hell we'll get the bodies from...but we'll manage somehow. We always do."
A spokesman for the BBC, speaking on Radio 4's Today Programme said, "This is a once in a lifetime event and we must push the envelope as far as we can. And if that means there is some collateral damage along the way then so be it. Let's face it if this knocks somebody like Lineker out for good then we've saved the licence fee payer a small fortune haven't we?"