Olympic organisers' worst fears became reality last night as the expensive opening ceremony descended into mayhem.
A massive computer glitch only revealed itself at the last moment, too late to stop thousands of seats in the stadium being double booked.
Scuffles broke out everywhere as arguments over seating soon revived old enmities.
Palestinians grappled with Israelis, Germans with French and Russians with Americans.
The worst incident led to the two Korean nations massing troops and tanks at the 38th Parallel ready for "All Out War to the Death".
Chairman of Locog Lord Coe appealed for calm but in vain.
He said: "Look we are deeply, deeply sorry about all this. It's just a typical British foul-up. We're a bit amateur about these things. You know, Bertie Wooster and all that. Ha Ha. No? Ok then, sorry."
Boris Johnson, London Mayor commented: "It would appear The Games have started with a Bang not a Whiff-Whaff. Time for a change of PM? Yes maybe."