To rock fans he’s the boss, the bluest in blue collar rock, the festival favourite, the go-to guitar guy whose heart will always be in New Jersey. But according to a new poll, none of that will wash with Chihuahuas, the tiny pedigree doggies with Central American heritage and doting doggie-loving owners. ‘Springsteen shmingsteen’ seems to be the tiny dogs' attitude. They can take him or leave him. The news is already out there on both Chihuahua and Springsteen social networking sites.
This doggie indifference emerged as part of a survey for an engineering company, designed to get them into the public eye. It was carried out by a specialist polling firm YouPoll, who specialise in creating eye catching headlines out of difficult data. Perry Norman, their account director said “Our most famous one was ‘New Potatoes not an aphrodisiac’, which we carried out for the Potato Marketing Board, when Jersey Royals went on heat. I mean came into season”
Mr Norman noted that wherever possible sex should figure in poll results, but the potato data (or its trade name “taterdata”) refused to correlate to any sexual behaviour data available, except that of the potato weevil. “We were in a grey area,” said Mr Norman. We couldn’t hint that King Edwards or Maris Piper increased libido, because that would be innacurate. Instead we plumped for a negative, which in a way fits in with the new potato ethos. When you think of new potatoes you think of summer salads, light fish dishes and fresh butter and parsley. Not three in a bed romps at vicars and nurses parties. Simple as that.
The Chihuahua/Bruce Springsteen headline is also 99.99% accurate, after a poll of pedigree dogs and their rock n roll listening preferences underwent analysis. Perry Norman of Youpoll said: “To be perfectly honest, there was very little to remark upon except for a single chocolate Labrador who appeared “to quite like Status Quo.” Interesting anecdotally but not enough for a trend. But the Chihuahuas unanimously had a zero response to Springsteen. Don’t forget this is publicity for an engineering company we are talking about, so a .01% tolerance is acceptable – beyond that, in the real world we could be talking crashing aircraft, collapsing bridges or burst gas mains. This data is bullet proof.”