Public toilet architects have issued a statement reminding men that any urinal that forces another man to stand directly beside you is to be used only when an explosion is imminent. The announcement comes on the heels of a government study that reveals a steady increase in awkward restroom related behaviour.
The plea for a return to public loo etiquette was welcomed by punters we interviewed, ‘Look we’ve all been in that position, when your penis feels like it’s about to pop like a water balloon. If that’s the case no one will judge you. Keep your distance otherwise,’ said Dave.
A left handed urinated added, ‘it’s worse for us but no one cares. Nine times out of ten the guy next to you is right handed, and if he stands on your left there is a good chance the arm you use to hold your willy will brush the arm he is holding his willy with. It’s a horrible, sex charged brush.’
It is thought the biggest perpetrators are simply unaware of the damage they cause. Some men can’t go at all and are forced to pretend to be relieving themselves before bolting for a free cubicle when no one is watching.
It is recommended that tall men refrain from using the urinal at all and keep all their business to a cubicle. Men with large penis are asked to do this as well to spare everyone else’s feelings.