In an apparent snub to critics who claim pedigree dogs are inbred, mutated and miserable, the Kennel Club has released a 'breed standard' for a dog with two cocks.
"Just look at his little face, you can see how happy he is", insisted Alice Higgins, an expert on double-barrelled gun dogs. "I just wish I could think of a suitable idiom to describe his elation."
Higgins was later sacked for modifying a standard one-cocked dog, using an old lipstick and a roll of gaffer tape. In a written statement, the Kennel Club insisted that it was opposed to such 'frivolous cosmetic procedures'.