Doctors at Great Ormond Street Hospital have confirmed they are set to carry out an operation to conjoin brothers David and Ed Miliband
The brothers, who have been separated since birth, say the operation 'should greatly increase our chances of becoming the next Labour Party leader'.
Although doctors have highlighted the risks involved in such a long and complex operation, the brothers insist they are determined to go ahead with it.
'David and Ed have our full support' said campaign organiser Sarah Peplow 'people often say they can’t tell them apart...well now you won’t have to. With a bit of luck, when they come out of theatre they will both be pronounced Dead, although we might want to take a look at that in due course.
It was obvious that if they stood individually their vote will inevitably be split. But if they can conjoin successfully...and it is only an if at this stage...then we think their chances of getting the nod over other candidates would be greatly increased.
'Of course we have to work out where best to conjoin them. With births, it is usually at the head or the hip, although we must take into account that this pair already have vast experience of talking through their ass so we shouldn't rule that one out at this stage. With this being the Labour party maybe covering your back would be the best policy.
Anyway, we are right behind them....well actually behind one but in front of the other.
If this goes through successfully then I don't think they will remain in opposition for very long'.
When questioned about the pitfalls in forming such a close liaison between such independent, free thinking individuals, Miss Peplow did not think it would be a long term issue.
'No, I don't envisage any problems.
They will obviously have to deal with the more intimate and fractious moments as they arise.
But let's face it, Yvette has been banging the Milibands together for years now, so nothing new there.
Rumours that other candidates are also looking into the possibility of being conjoined have been rejected as pure speculation.
'It's too painful to even contemplate' sighed a Labour party activist, 'I certainly wouldn't want to expose both Balls and Burnham in front of the cameras at any price.