Olympic hopeful Mark Jones, from Bournemouth, yesterday won the 400 meter hurdles at the Olympic Trials in a new world record of 46.5 seconds.
Mark, a graduate from Cambridge University, was interviewed after the race and immediately wanted to praise Charles Darwin for recently becoming a part of his life and filling his heart with the wonders of evolution.
“It wasn’t until I read the ‘The Origin of Species’ that I truly understood how I had evolved into this athletic specimen”, said Mark. “Praise be to Darwin. He has helped me all along the way and without him I don’t know where I would have ended up”
Mark went on to tell us he used to think that somehow he had just been blessed with his skills and that with a lot of faith he would just get better. But as soon as he recognized that he was an evolving entity, he realized that by practicing regularly the only way forward was to evolve into a leaner, faster and stronger athlete.
Mark added that he couldn't understand why one athlete after another wanted to thank their diety for their achievements when clearly Darwin should be given the credit.
After his athletic career Mark intends to win Countdown, discover a cure for ‘cystic fibrosis’ and find a way to get a copy of ‘The Origin of Species” in every school room in Britain.
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