In a move that surprised no-one, King Leonidas from the newly reformed state of Sparta is to send 300 of his men to help the beleaguered London Olympics Committee.
When questioned by BBC reporters if that would be enough to back-fill the 5,000 shortfall, King L (as he likes to be affectingly called by friend and foe alike) retorted "300 was enough to make the last stand at the movie, er no, I meant at the Battle of Thermopylae against the massive Persian army and it will more than suffice for the battles we have yet to face"
King L continued "This would not have happened in Sparta. If Nick Buckles was Sparta, when he was born, like all Spartans, he would have been inspected"
Not satisfied with the answer, the reporter continued to question and probe until the King had had enough and kicked the reporter in the chest and shouted "This is Sparta!"
The reporter was heard calling the King's name as he fell down a deep hole....