A family from Swindon has condemned an insurance stunt as ‘tasteless’, after receiving a decomposing meerkat in the post.
The Gorestones had been nagged into contacting the company after their children were targeted by a TV advertising campaign, featuring a nosey foreign rodent dressed as Hitler. “My wife and I enjoy being phoned at all-hours by desperate telesales staff, so we thought that contacting them would kill two birds with one stone”, said Anthony Gorestone.
Despite not owning a car, the family were delighted to be offered over 100 very similar quotes, after fabricating a green Ford Focus with an alarm and alloy wheels. “We had a call that very evening from a surprisingly rude young chap from Norwich”, explained Sharon, Anthony’s wife. “When I let it slip that our car was imaginary, I was amazed that our premium nearly halved, so I decided to take him up on the offer", she recalled. "It’s always nice to spoil the kids.”
But what should have been a fun surprise for the Gorestone’s two young children quickly led to tears, and several visits to a leading child psychologist. “I tried to explain that the meerkat was 'resting', and that the smell was just the postman, but then its putrefied legs came away in my hand, and splattered them with ooze”, claimed Sharon. “It stained the wallpaper in our hallway, and the carpet's completely ruined. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have tried to use it as a puppet.”
The insurance company responsible has offered the family a full refund, minus an administration fee and a contribution towards the wear and tear on the meerkat. Mr Gorestone remains philosophical about the incident. “The children eventually stopped screaming once we’d dressed it as a mermaid”, he revealed. “Now they want me to insure a fictitious moped, so they can have one to cower from each.”
Mr Gorestone has tried to claim against the bacteria that decomposed his animal on his pet insurance, but was told he wasn't covered for breakdowns. He's urged comparison sites to stop shipping skinny gophers in sealed containers, but was reassured to hear that the industry is now 'riddled with airholes'. "At least I think that's what they said", pondered Gorestone.