Major Yung Wong Su from the Chinese Peoples Employment Bureau has offered to send the United Kingdom two million of its unemployed Scientists to work as security guards at the London Olympic Village. Major Su made the decision after speaking to relatives who live and work in West Ham. The family run a local popular take away and are often patronised by G4S Security boss Nick Buckles.
Major Yung Wong Su said; "My cousin Woo tell me you short of security guard so I think we short an got lot of unemploy Scientist, dey lazy no wan make atomic bomb an is not good for Ying Yang an Yen of motherlan, so we give for free. Dey give free calendar wiv every ticket an no fall sleep unlike Imperialist layabout. Your government think it way we invade you country, has he bin China Town in London? Ha Ha! It will work, we use 2 million Irish to build Great Wall, dey wen home after job done. So will we. Maybe.