The British National Party today unveiled the new campaign strategy; to lace each bigoted remark with irony. It is felt within the party that people will be less morally outraged by their vile hatred if they change the context. From now on nothing they say is to be taking literal no matter whom it is said to.
The party’s new manifesto went to the printer last night with a section of each policy carefully wrapped with quotation marks. An example would be their immigration policy what once read, ‘any foreign person who enters the country will be shot on sight by the Royal Navy,’ now reads, ‘any foreign person who enters the country “will be shot on sight” by the Royal Navy.’ The quotation marks change the context from a murderous rampage to a bit of handbags between associates.
They have also used something called sarcastic exclamation, a means to justify anything. If a man says that ‘a woman’s place is in the kitchen,’ that is unquestionably sexiest but if you instead say, “a woman’s place is the kitchen?’ it becomes banter.
Changes will also be made to the candidates. Starting with Nick Griffin each member will undergo a rigorous training programme to improve strength and conditioning, allowing them to permanently hold their arms in the ‘quote unquote,’ position. It is hoped this turns Nick Griffin from ‘evil scum bag’ into ‘cheeky chappy.’