Frederick Arkwright, a plumber from Cleckheaton, West Yorkshire has formally requested an economic bail out from the IMF.
This follows a downgrading of his credit rating by local agency 'the man at the corner shop' who refuses to let him have any more cheap lager 'on tab' until he settles his bill.
Mr Arkwright is also known to owe sums in excess of £25 to both the window cleaner and the milkman who have both escalated the matter further by issuing him with strongly worded reminder letters.
Arkwright has subsequently approached the international bank for a loan of £750 citing the global economic downturn and international drop in shareholder confidence as reasons.
His wife, Mrs Ethel Arkwright however has dismissed his plea as ‘complete and utter tosh’ saying that the underlying reason for his failure to access credit in the current market is primarily due to him ‘getting pissed up too much’.
This statement was confirmed by his brother-in-law, Arthur Grimshaw, to whom he owes a tenner, allegedly.
Mr Arkwright has further debts and creditors, including an outstanding library fine of £4.20, the work's Lottery syndicate, to whom he owes ten weeks and a video card that is two months overdue renewal. His best mate Fred also states that he hasn't got a round in, in months.
Before allowing any release of funds however, the IMF has requested strict economic measures be implemented including i) limiting his trips to the pub to one a week, ii) only one curry takeaway every month and iii) buying Economy brand lager from the supermarket
However, Arkwright responded robustly, saying 'These European mandarins that sit in ivory towers in Brussels sipping fine wine have no idea of the everyday situation of the common working man, expecting them to drink piss poor economy lager and miss out on curry take-outs. This is an outrage and I refuse to kowtow to their demands. '
Arkwright is thought to be planning a protest to the IMF demands by staging an all-night sit in at the Dog and Gun.