Home Secretary Theresa May has announced that the Powder Puff Girls have been contracted to provide additional Olympics security.
"Their superpowers will come in very handy and they have substantial experience of dealing with the criminal element in society," she explained. "Plus they already have CRB checks and they're prepared to work for babysitters' rates."
Meanwhile the soldiers from the Camberwick Green military cadet school at Pippin Fort will drive along in an army truck (a humpeddy-bumpeddy army truck) to install surface to surface missiles on top of several quite large buildings in East London.
Security will be augmented by employing a large number of retired policemen - DI Jack Frost, DCS Christopher Foyle, Wycliffe and Sergeant Dixon among them. They will benefit from additional technological security measures in the form of lengths of string spanning a number of London streets at ankle height.
While there have been repeated calls for Mrs May to resign or be sacked, the Prime Minister took the opportunity at Prime Minister's Questions to repeat that he had complete confidence in Thingy, y'know, the tall woman in the Primark suits.