Justice Peters has retired in the John Terry racism case to consider his verdict of who started it.
Terry’s legal team wrapped up their defence with a strong argument of ‘did not!’ in response to repeated prosecution allegations that he ‘did too!’
All sides readily agree that Terry is a complete c**t, including Terry himself. However he vehemently denies being a racist c**t.
Lip-reading experts added to the controversial nature of the case when they said they spotted Terry saying from the witness box ‘I support the Ku Klux Klan and think slavery was a jolly nice idea.’ They said he then lustily belted out the Nazi death metal song ‘SS Sturmfuhrer’ while holding his arm aloft in a Hitler salute.
However Terry said he simply said ‘I’m dying for a fag – when’s this pfaffing big load of tosh gonna be over.’
At one point in the trial, under fierce cross-examination from the prosecution lawyer, Terry alleged that he had ‘shagged his missus’. The lawyer then lost his train of thought, went bright red, said ‘no more questions your honour’ and meekly sat down, his brilliant legal mind now swimming with horrific mental images and nagging doubts concerning his wife’s fidelity.
The day’s proceeding ended on an ugly note when the two central figures briefly crossed paths outside the courtroom. Anton Ferdinand poked out his tongue at Terry and said ‘na na na na naaa,’ enraging Terry who had to be held back and was dragged away yelling ‘I shagged your missus, I shagged your missus,’ over and over again.