The Labour party have recently announced radical plans to renormalise the political spectrum by ushering in their new political unit, the milliband (abbreviated to 'mb'). In doing so they have paved the way for all future political memberships to be easily quantified.
"It was clear that we seriously lacked a unit of measurement for our politicans" Harriet Harman, acting leader for the Labour party said last night, "No one really knew exactly what a Brown was worth, or even a Cameron compared to a Clegg. British politics needed a real shake up, and that's when we conceived of the milliband".
Each milliband is worth about 1000 microbands, each of which is worth 1000 nanobands. Under the new system, it is estimated that a Cameron is 10 microbands, one Balls is about 100 nanobands, with one Hague trailing far behind at about 3 femtobands (1/1000 of a nanoband).
This new definition has left political opponents sweating.
"This doesn't bode well for the new coalition" said one Liberal Democrat MP, who wished to remain anonymous,"Up until now, the amount of politics we had was never clear. But now we can easily draw comparisons between our respective parties. It became quickly obvious that across the entire coalition, we didn't even have a single milliband between us."
The Prime Minister declined to comment on this bombshell, but the work and pensions secretary Iain Duncan smith wasn't so reluctant to express his dismay. "In a stark comparison to the conservatives, The Labour party seems to have an excess of millibands. This news is the opposite of what we needed on the dawn of a new government."