Experts were confounded last night as it emerged that managers [yes,as in plural] are looking at Andy Carroll to improve their squads.s
‘The manager gets a nice severance packaged if he’s sacked. That’s the only examination to sign a player that made a nation long of the days of Peter Crouch,’ was the verdict of a leading sports journalist. Another added, ‘Ah..um…sorry….what?’ before his head exploded in his misguided attempt to make sense of it all.
It is thought that if West Ham manager Sam Allardyce does not get his man he will turn to his second choice, a 6ft 4 plank of wood. Although he fears that the planks superior movement would impede his ‘lump it forward’ strategy.