A new book trilogy, 50 Shades of Grey, by Cecilia Postlethwaite, has proved a massive hit.
The book centres on the subservient relationship between a wife, her middle-aged husband and his ever-changing hair colour, his collection of coal and his obsession with HB pencils.
The novel explores the dynamics of their interaction as she cooks meals for him, washes his clothes and tolerates his weird hobbies.
Critics however, have stated that readers are buying the book by mistake, thinking that it is another novel of the same title, by E L James, which explores sado masochistic sexual fantasies.
Random House, Postlethwaite’s publishers have refuted this, saying some of the books biggest fans are John Major (the ‘grey’ prime minister) and Steve Severin, lead singer of Visage, who had a hit single in the 80s with Fade to Grey.
The publishers have also suggested that some smarter book fans can incorporate the themes of the two tomes, by using coal and pencils to liven up their sex lives.
John Major refused to comment on whether he incorporated fossil fuels or drawing implements into his extra-marital affair with MP Edwina Currie in the 1980s.