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1. 

   Ironduke
   

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   http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/9389109/Boyfriend-squirted-partner-with-brown-sauce-when-she-refused-to-stop-reading-Fifty-Shades-of-Grey.html

   Summarised as boyfriend disgusted at girlfriend reading 50shades of greay found guilty of assaulting her with a brown sauce bottle having intended to 'show her what saucy really means'.

   The section where she complained of having a mess on her walls and stinging her eyes was painful to read I was laughing so hard.

   Posted 11 months ago #
2. 

   The All New Jeni B
   

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   Oh dear God. He actually did say that.
   What an absolute twat of a man.

   I wish the judge had thrown the book at him....B'doom t'sch.

   Posted 11 months ago #
3. 

   Scronnyglonkle
   

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   I just hope as he squozed the bottle he said "Who's your daddies!"

   Posted 11 months ago #
4. 

   Oxbridge
   

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   'He squeezed it, some horrible salty sauce came out and now my eyes are stinging...'

   I'll get my coat

   Posted 11 months ago #
5. 

   Thor
   

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   Is this what they mean by ‘vinegar strokes?'

   Posted 11 months ago #
6. 

   beau-jolly
   

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   Missed this story but I'm sure I'll ketchup.
   Imagine if he'd decided to show her what real sex was like on her doorstep. I guess she's still be cleaning a mess off the walls.

   At what point did she call the police and have him arrested? A tad over the top don't you think? Nice to see it ended with them being friends again. Can't help imagining that they are both a little smeshul though.

   Posted 11 months ago #
7. 

   Ironduke
   

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   I wish I was a bit better at English.

   He rushed in, dragged her away from her porn, and splashed his sauce all over her.

   Now...was he groping for a metaphor? An allegory? A similie? Subconscious euphemism?

   Posted 11 months ago #
8. 

   beau-jolly
   

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   Lucky he went for "Saucy". Imagine if he'd decided on "hard core":
   Hard core? I'll show you hard core! Alright mate you can tip it here. Rumble rumble crash <two tons of broken bricks later> Now that's what I call hard core.

   Posted 11 months ago #

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