That tit who owns a canoe has been seen making final preparations to his vessel as large parts of Britain look set to be hit by further flood misery.
With the Environment Agency warning of severe flooding across many parts of Britain, residents of Hebden Bridge have been attempting to safeguard their properties and possessions from the rising water. However it is feared that 36 year old Steve Roberts could once again add insult to injury by paddling his occasionally appropriate craft up the High Street like some kind of psychic Popeye.
“At first it was quite amusing seeing him paddle down to the shops, waving cheerfully at news reporters while everyone else in town waded around up to their waists in sewage. It helped us see the funny side of losing all our worldly possessions” said resident Jacquie Walters. “But after three floods this year already, quite frankly he can fuck off now.”
Mr Roberts is not the only person hoping rising waters will provide an opportunity to get out on the waves. Two men were caught blocking up storm drains in Dunstable town centre, claiming they did it out of desperation for a chance to finally use the speedboat they won on Bullseye in 1987.