As workers return to the office after a weekend of sporting misery, millions of people were finally able to remove the little Scottish flag from their desks and go back to being English.
On leaving the court after the match, 29 year old Sarah Donald happily wiped away the biro 'Mc' she'd drawn on her driving licence. "My husband's great-grandfather married a half-Scottish woman, so for the last fortnight I haven't felt like one of those fraudulent Brits who've used geography as their reason for supporting Murray," she said. "I don't feel like I've sold out by using my heritage as a reason to support him; during international rugby events I use my maiden name - Jones - to feel that it's ok to get behind Wales when they're winning, and I don't see a problem with putting an O' in front of my surname during Eurovision".
Mrs Donald clearly isn't alone; English supermarkets saw a huge drop in haggis sales this morning compared to the last fortnight. Asda analyst James Hall wasn't surprised at the change. "To be honest, haggis tastes vile and makes our stores stink like rotting arseholes so we're glad to see the back of it. We're desperately hoping that Paul Di Resta doesn't win a Grand Prix or it'll happen all over again".
Millions relieved to drop "Scottish heritage" after Murray loses final
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As workers return to the office after a weekend of sporting misery, millions of people were finally able to remove the little Scottish flag from their desks and go back to being English.Posted 10 months ago #
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