Scottish No.1 tennis player Andy Murray has had his nationality recategorised from British to Scottish with immediate effect, following his abysmal performance in the Men's Singles Final today at Wimbledon.
Speaking after his 1 - 3 defeat at the hands of Switzerland's Roger Federer and fighting back the (crocodile some would say) tears, would-be Brit Murray said, "I apologise unreservedly for trifling with the nation's hopes and dreams. If it is any consolation at all I hate myself for having let everyone down like this. Especially I wish to apologise to Kate and Pippa Middleton who were good enough to sit in the Royal Box supporting me all afternoon at absolutely no cost to themselves whatsoever. But rest assured I have learnt from this experience. It has given me an insight into what true British sportsmen like David Beckham and Sir Steve Redgrave really are like, and in my own hopelessly Scottish way I will try and aspire to their indefatigable Britishness as best I can in future. Furthermore I vow to one day somehow become British. Thank you, goodnight and - Och jings, it's a big hoots mon the noo from me tae all!"
Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond who had been at SW19 to watch Murray left immediately after the game with only the very briefest of comments to reporters. Looking very annoyed he simply said, "Hmmph!"
posted as per Sinnick's suggestion on the other thread sorry all.