Female cabin crew working for Richard Branson have refused to wear support tights in space, prompting fears that the first commercial space flights could be delayed for months if not years.
“It’s just such an outdated image,” said Fran Roberts of the newly formed Space Workers Union. “Of course our colleagues working in conventional flight have to wear discreet support hosiery, because of the time they spend on their feet. We space crew will be serving oversalted snacks and selling overpriced teddy bears in weightless conditions.”
It’s also understood that some male space crew have objected to the red v-neck pullovers and little epaulettes designed by Stella McCartney. “It’s just sooo retro,” said Denis Hathaway, flight attendant now undergoing space training. “The image of the male space attendant as gay Star Trek fan who couldn’t manage the hairdressing exams makes my blood boil. It really does! Luckily, in space, no one can hear you scream!”