In a grizzly new twist to the ongoing banking scandal Ed Miliband and Ed Balls were found chewing on the hollowed out corpse of barclays chief Bob Diamond in the early hours of this morning. 'Ed and i were hoofing bath salts during a policy meeting when Harriet Harman came in and put on Aerosmith, next thing i know we were on our way to the City. He tasted like heat and light! ALL FLESH IS GRASS!' screeched the blood slaked, frog eyed and obviously bog mad labour leader to journalists as he was dragged into the police van. Barclays have said they will not press charges.
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'Shadow cabinet eat banker in party drug cannibal holocaust'
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