David Cameron has made an official statement denying that the UK is actually sinking fast under the Cameron government, he states that the huge amount of rain that has fallen over the past weeks is responsible.
William Hague has defended the prime minister by denying that the UK is sinking faster than the economy, in a vain attempt to seek credibility William Hague is reported to have said that the claims made by Former Prime Minister Tony Blair about the repeated failure by the Border Control agency to curb immigration was to blame.
Mr Blair specifically pointed the finger at the UK Border agency by saying their total and utter disregard for monitoring immigration influx was responsible for the UK sinking due to the weight of the illegal immigrants. Good old Blighty can no longer cope with more weight claimed Tony Blair, Hague however, denies this saying it is just an abnormality in the weather, and nothing to do with the UK's strict austerity measures.
A leading scientist has backed Mr Blair by saying that the UK seemed to be sinking from the south East, which just happens to be home of Dover and the Channel Tunnel, where most immigrants arrive into the UK.
Theresa May of the conservative party say's if we can evenly distribute the illegal immigrants across the UK, this may help stop the immediate problem of the UK sinking, this is in direct conflict with the leaders statement denying any responsibility.
Vince Cable of the Lib Dem's has suggested a new factory should be built in the west midlands to manufacture plastic buckets, these could then be distributed to the unemployed too try and help bail out the flooded areas across the UK. Deputy Leader Nick Clegg however has said he will do what David Cameron tells him, as the Lib Dems have now reached the conclusion they have a cat in hells chance of retaining any parliamentary seats in the next General election and he looks forward to an early retirement.