Wally, 65, has finally gone into retirement after finally losing his patience getting caught in huge crowds everywhere he has gone. "Last week I tried to go to the beach, and when I got there it was packed - even though it was overcast! My holidays have always been ruined - going to an arab bazaar, visiting the gold mines of the US, all ended in mayhem"
It is rumoured Wally has is also going to loose his trademark red and white hat and jumper as he keeps getting rejected from pubs. Landlords have, with unprecedented levels, told him that stag dos are stictly not allowed. "I can't even have a quiet pint anymore - people keep saying to me "the crawls left mate, we've gone somewhere else - aren't you a little old to be on this pub crawl".
Source close to Wally have stated how delighted he is to be moving away. They refused to say exactly where he was going, but it is believed his has found a quaint small cottage, just by a farm in Glastonbury.