The nationwide ban on all forms of Superdry clothing comes into effect from midnight tonight. The emergency measures have been forced on the government as it seeks to stop up to 1 in 3 Britons from self-harming their dignity and fashion sense.
Some have criticised the ban as being too ‘nanny state’ however others say it’s a necessary measure to protect people from making obvious and damaging public declarations they are complete tossers.
Superdry has condemned the ban stating all its clothing is ‘really groovy shit – it’s like American baseball style stuff with some cool Japanese type shit on it.’
‘Superdry is proud that it gives conservative brain-dead morons the chance to believe they’re wearing something really funky. We think Superdry gear deserves its place right up there with other street classics such as boat-shoes, pink-shirts, chinos, fedoras and pashmina scarves. And as you know - that’s all well cool shit.’ said their 74 year old lead designer.
However pressure groups welcomed the ban and said the very, very averagely dressing man would be a lot better off from tomorrow by not having the temptation to shell out 70 quid for some of the crappest T-shirts made in China for 10 pence ever seen in the West.
A stern Minister of Culture said ‘there’s no excuse for it. People who wear Superdry harm themselves, their families and their communities. We want to create a safe environment for people who walk the high streets in places like Putney so they don’t have to see every second knob-wad wearing that shit.’