South Luffenham public library has been threatened with thermonuclear extinction if it does not remove it's book display on 'The Olympics' by Thursday tea time.
Trident, initially designed to be deployed from a Vanguard class submarine, now has a chief launch site on the roof of a block of council flats in Bow. Experts predict that the resulting nuclear winter will render the Midlands uninhabitable, however new Locog trademark applications for London Winter Olympics 2013-3013 suggest that they are optimistic of a favourable outcome either way.
It is thought that this will be the first time a local library has faced censure by ballistic missile since Polaris was deployed against Hackbridge library for using "If you see Sid, tell him" as a slogan for their reading group in the 1980s.
Similar stories have emerged across Britain, including that of three year old Ruby from Potters Bar who was threatened with rendition for a painting she did with her eyes shut that looked remarkably similar to the London 2012 logo, and a nudist beach in Bournemouth faced possible napalming when three tall people and two short people bent over at the same time.