Former Tottenham gaffer Harry Redknapp has been named as Bob Diamond’s successor. Redknapp said at a press conference ‘e hadn’t got a bleedin’ clue about this banking lark’ sending Barclays’ shares plummeting a further 20%.
However he then said he’d ‘give the job a fair whack’ which saw shares recover slightly.
Redknapp also declared he would deploy a 4-billion, 4-billion, 2-billion formation at the bank, sparking a further share plunge, and hoped to sign up some ‘well clever geezers’ like Professor Brian Cox, Stephen Fry and Stevie G.
After his admission at his fraud trial earlier this year that he could ‘hardly add one plus one’ analysts have declared Redknapp’s appointment to a major international finance role to be ‘eyebrow-raising.’
In his first surprise move Redknapp announced he was entering Barclay’s into next years’ Champions League, FA Cup and Premier League but wasn’t going to bother with the Carling Cup.
He urged Barclay’s shareholders to form a hardcore ‘firm’ and show their devotion for the company by chanting juvenile nonsense at the banks competitor’s employees, suggesting a good one might be something like ‘your short-term ISA interest rate is shit.’