David Cameron has defended his decision to set up an inquiry into banking under Mr Softee, widely known for his long experience in financial sector regulation and his delicious soft ice cream cones. Speaking from a van in Bury St Edmonds, Mr Softee told the Financial Times that bank regulation and soft ice cream sales are closely related, both having to respond to intense market pressures and fluctuation.
He said the Softee Inquiry would involve "Absolute independence and integrity, and that final flick of the wrist to get the swirl right. And nowadays, a napkin. Nice touch - classy."
But Mr Softee had a serious message for bank and ice cream customers alike. "Above all, think road safety. Mind that child!"