Google has caught it rivals well and truly on the back foot, as it announced plans for a clonky, built-up shoe. The 7” high unit is based on an Android ‘platform’, and can look a little ungainly when compared with competitors’ encumberments. But pundits have welcomed its open access and similarity to a normal shoe, aside from the noise it makes when walking across wooden floors.
“We like to stay one step ahead of our rivals”, claimed a Google spokesman, while visibly struggling to remain balanced. “It’s an ideal accompaniment to our weird new glasses, or haivng one short leg.” Beta testers reported that the big shoe was awful to get to grips with, but was reliable, and not so bad when traversing hills.
Apple has reacted swiftly to the announcement, bringing forward the launch for their much-anticipated hearing aid, which emits a high-pitched whistle in the company of strangers. Distinctive, costly and designed without compromise to the shape of a human ear, fans are already claiming they can't imagine life without one.