The Queen made an historic act of forgiveness yesterday by giving former IRA leader Martin McGuinness a hand shandy.
The momentous encounter – which would have been unthinkable ten years ago – was hailed as a “significant gesture on the sticky road to peace.”
In a further act of consolidation, The Queen refused to wipe off the former terror leader's man made yoghurt and toured Belfast, waving at the exuberant crowd, and occasional splattering them with spunk.
The historic occasion was slightly marred by a green eyed Duke Of Edinburgh who refused to shake the Queen's hand afterwards. He has however promised to give a brown man a blowey.