It’s another of one those ….. “never saw that one coming, moments”
Leaked by a trusted source, and in advance of an official Old Trafford announcement, this reporter can today confirm the immediate appointment of Angelos Epithemiou to the PR Team which supports Sir Alex Ferguson.
When pressed for a comment, Sir Alex indicated the club had been involved in an extraordinarily long search for a suitable candidate. “Since the passing of the late and much respected Stanley Unwin, we’ve been looking for an individual, with that unique ability to respond to any question on any subject, with authority and believability”.
Angelos is the perfect addition to our PR Team, he will fill that void and be in a position to provide answers to questions which are beyond my remit or those questions I have previously declined (walked away from) as being “off subject”.
So in future, when some moron of a press reporter asks the same question for the 27th time or “if” Roy of the Rovers is to be signed on £500k a week – their question will be passed immediately to Angelos for a truly misinformed and incomprehensible answer, typical of that for which he is much respected.
Press and the electronic media, should also be pleased to learn that all pre & post match interviews will run for the time allotted, without the risk of being curtailed, as has previously been the case.
We have not been able to contact Angelos (as he is currently working from a secret location, as a speech writer, for Balls & Miliband (the infamous “two Ed’s are better than one” comedy duo) - however, and should he read this - Angelos, your comments would be appreciated, we’d love to hear from you.
A formal press release is imminently expected very soon and without further warning.
Sports Desk Comment:
“This appointment will significantly reduce Sir Alex’s blood pressure. Recent analysis of the 2011~12 season reveals as many as 98.9% of all questions put to Sir Alex in pre & post match interviews, conferences etc., have been repetitive, off-subject, endlessly repetitive or something about nothing which may vaguely have something to do with a Manchester United player or those awful noisy neighbours down the road”.