Belgium has emerged as the hot favourite to replace Scotland on its departure from the united kingdom. After all night talks, David Cameron and Belgian Prime Minister Elio Di Rupo, emerged this morning to issue statements to the press.
A beaming Cameron announced, "We're swapping whingeing men in skirts who eat deep fried mars bars, for gourmet beers, chocolate, mussels and beautiful cities. It's a no brainer really. I'd just like to thank Alex Salmond for making it all possible!"
Elio Di Rupo was equally enthusiastic, stating, "For centuries the french have taken the piss out of us. But now we will have access to nuclear weapons!"
However, as Iain Duncan-Smith pointed out, the results of the referendum are by no means certain. "Whilst we have a good idea of public opinion" he explained, "many Scots like to write "Aye" and "Noo" on their voting slips instead of yes and no. This will of course result in a great many spoilt ballots."
It is not clear whether Scotland will be taking the surrounding Islands with them.