Creation scientists have gathered in Utah for the inauguration of the most ambitious new development in advanced theological research in decades - the Salt Lake City Prayer Super-Collider.
In a 12 kilometre ring buried beneath the salt lakes two highly-devout prayers will be sent spinning in opposite directions at up to 99.998% of the speed of the word of God, and then collided head on to disintegrate into their fundamentalist components, reaching pious levels not seen since the creation of the universe some 6000 years ago. One particular hope is to witness the possible spontaneous creation of angel/demon pairs, long theorised to appear in such environments, although as they only exist for a few millionths of a second before colliding and exploding, tracking them will be a challenge.
The engineering challenge in building the super-collider was immense. Six hundred and sixty-six thousand gallons of superheated and highly pressurised holy water pipes spiral round the acceleration tubes, funnelling the prayers and concentrating their divinity into a singularity, before colliding them in front of a large iridium cross.
But many are critical of this research, some theologians say it is an affront to God to try to understand the mechanics of His creation, others are worried that the machine could even tear Heaven apart and cause God to implode - or worse still trigger the creation of a new God of entirely random nature - but Creation Science experts are quick to discount these fears, calling them superstitious claptrap unsupported by any verifiable evidence and therefore without merit.