Jimmy Carr called the PM a f****ing c**t and the Prime Minister surprisingly appears to agree.
In an unprecedented turn of honesty David Cameron took time out from extremely vitally important talks about some shit to say, ‘It’s a fair cop. I can’t argue. I am and pretty much always have been a complete and utter f****ing c**t.’
‘Back at Oxford my fellow students realised I was actually a f****ing c**t of the highest order so they immediately invited me to join the Bullingdon Club – membership of which, as you know, is restricted to f****ing c**ts of truly epic proportions.
‘Then I joined the Tories, became a politician and here I am. Talk about natural career progression eh what? And let’s face it – Jimmy was just saying what everyone else was thinking wasn’t he?’
Political commentators believe Cameron’s frank admission may be an attempt to seize the morally repugnant high ground.
‘People need to understand that being seen to be an enormous f****ing c**t in the Tory party is actually quite a badge of honour. The Tories are packed with right royal c**ts of all descriptions so you need to be something quite special to rise above the pack and confirm your status as the Alpha C**t. Cameron’s obviously one of those special f****ing c**ts that comes along once every 40 or so years.’
Another commentator disagreed with the ‘once every 40 years’ quote by saying ‘hang on, what about Blair?’
Eventually consensus was reached that Blair was actually a ‘Total C**t who has really kicked on after Office to become a ‘Complete and Utter C**t of the Highest Order.’