Track and field sports are about as nationally relevant as the original Karate Kid film, England suddenly realised yesterday.
As another GBP1,000,000 was transferred to the bank account of the highest ranking art fart in order to create more papier mache cows, England suddenly realised that it knew as much about current athletics stars as it did about papier mache cows.
"Didn't Karl Lewis win last year? Was he the one with the 'lunch box'?" asked Jeanette Walis, of Stratford East.
"Well I wouldn't mind seeing him again!"
It is thought that England are going to be excellent in the decathlon.