After mounting concern over the tactics of their High Street charity collectors, TAG Campaign has responded by promising their operations will now be much more discreet.
“Collectors will now concentrate on getting donations in kind rather than cash” said TAG spokesman Colin Hutchins. “And rather than disturbing little old ladies on the High Street, our choplifters will visit large chain stores and quietly pick up the ‘donated’ goods and leave.”
Professor of Psychology John Andrews applauded the move noting that research showed that the public viewed shoplifting far more favourably than talking to strangers. “And TAG’s plan to further expand into chank chobbery would have overwhelming support in the current climate” said Professor Andrews.
Mr Hutchins was quick to point out that all other facets of TAG’s operations would remain the same: “Those cute, homeless cats will still get a 2.5% cut of all donations, well maybe 1% after the RSPCA have deducted their expenses”.