Neat-bearded celebrity presenter, Noel Edmonds, was feeling a great deal better today following an Ofcom ruling that found him not guilty of misrepresentation during the hosting of his hit Channel 4 show, Deal or no Deal.
The diminutive gnome-like Ex Radio 1 "jock" and former scourge of Saturday night primetime TV, had been accused of repeatedly insisting that the show's suspiciously larger-than-life contestants were actually playing the game 'skillfully'. But in a 264 page written adjudication the panel decided that although no skill whatsoever could ever be said to be in evidence at any time, nevertheless Edmonds had to be cleared of all charges on the grounds that "He's just a bit of a berk and thus can't be held responsible for his somewhat over-ebullient outbursts to camera."
A delighted Noel, who has been enjoying something of an Indian Summer in his show business career in recent years, was unrepentant after the ruling and continued to insist that people who were obviously simply guessing numbers between 1 and 22 were nevertheless "demonstrating phenomenal game-playing skills of the highest order". When it was put to him that in fact a six-week-old puppy shitting on the boxes totally at random was every bit as skilful, the one-time BBC golden boy vehemently denied it and went on to create a diversion by donning a brightly coloured and hideously garish shirt.
Rather worryingly this let-off by the broadcasting watchdog has set alarm bells ringing all across TV land, for when further asked if there was any truth in rumours that he was intending to now bring his former Multi-Coloured Swap Shop sidekick, Keith Chegwin, into 'Deal' the former Squire of Crinkly Bottom refused to rule out it out as a possibility.
One contestant on the box-guessing-money-spinning extravaganza who wished to remain anonymous, but who is strongly suspected of being an actor from Central Casting simply pretending to be an ordinary member of the public gushed, "I'm so excited darling. My agent has put me up for a small role in the new Sir Ken Branagh, so it's fingers crossed loves."