Some hospitals around the country are close to meltdown as they struggle to deal with the aftermath of the recent one day strike by homeopathic doctors.
Homeopaths are angry at changes to their pension schemes which mean their final pots will be diluted to one trillion, trillionth of their original state, despite Government assurances that each would "somehow retain its own inherent value".
During the day of inaction, thousands of essential treatments were cancelled across the country, with NHS frontline services stretched to breaking point as they struggled to cope with the influx of unbalanced chakras and bad chi.
When one patient from Salisbury was told her lavender, bergamot and pulsatilla tincture would not be available for another day, the worry caused her energies to become dangerously misaligned, whereupon she fainted and was immediately taken by ambulance to A&E.
Fortunately one nurse had seen these symptoms before at Glastonbury festival and knew to sit the terrified lady in a toilet with a burning incense stick and a warm rock until a wizard arrived.