There has been an outcry from skiving workers all over Britain as doctors took the unprecedented step of refusing to supply medical certificates as part of their campaign to retain pension benefits.
Basingstoke Council employee Barry Jenkins summed up the gloomy mood as he turned up for work on Monday and Tuesday for the first time in 33 years: “I have a routine where every Monday morning I leave a small cough on the doctor’s answerphone and he emails me a certificate which I forward onto HR. The fact that I can no longer avail myself of this basic service leaves me literally sick to the stomach – which I also can’t get a sick note for.”
Jenkins said he was so mad he would join the counter protest against the doctor’s move this Saturday at noon: “I’ll be marching from my bedroom to the living room to click “like” on the campaign Facebook page. If I have the energy, I might even leave a comment.”
London insurance clerk Sara Lloyd was also downcast as she contemplated being at work on the Friday before the Bank Holiday for the first time ever: “My doctor’s 10 years of medical training and my low-cut top allowed him to diagnose ‘bankholaphobia’ – the fear of travelling with the masses on Friday afternoon. I'd even persuaded him the condition was contagious so my girlfriends could have the day off too.”
Watchdog group “What’s up Doc?” condemned the doctor’s action saying they should have stuck with “business as usual” forms of patient irritation such as making people queue in the waiting room while they chat up the receptionist, using legible handwriting for prescriptions for embarrassing medicines, and amputating the wrong limb.
Somewhat surprisingly, most employers are also opposed to the doctor’s campaign with CBI spokesman Lane Mitchell noting: “Without the protection of a bland medical certificate to rely on, bosses are for the first time being confronted with a detailed explanation of what ‘women’s issues’ really entails.”
(thanks for dvo, midfield diamond, and johnA for tidying up suggestions)