British Museum officials announced today they had secured a commitment from Kelly Brook to display her boobs alongside the Elgin Marbles and The Rosetta Stone.
Hundred’s of thousands are expected to flock to the museum to see the priceless national treasures on display, after only having previously caught glimpses of them in The Sun newspaper’s telephoto holiday snaps and B-grade horror flick Piranha 3D.
Boob enthusiast Tom Buxton of Newcastle was ecstatic at the news. ‘I’m absolutely thrilled. I’ve dreamed of seeing Kelly Brook’s boobs for years and now to finally get the chance….well, dream come true sorta stuff really.’
Peter Jones of Beckton said ‘I’ll definitely be travelling down to see this. I’ve always loved boobs and there’s no doubt Kelly’s are right up there as some of the best. Normally it’s only rugby players or actors who get to see them up close so it’s great the museum has been able to do this for us ordinary blokes.’
Head Curator of the British Museum said ‘The museum is world famous for hosting some of the most magnificent objects in history and we feel that Kelly’s boobs are right up there with some of the world’s greatest treasures. We’re delighted to be able to bring Kelly’s boobs to a wider audience than Danny Cipriani and the 12,000 people that saw Piranha 3D.’
However Culture Minister Anne Purdie condemned the exhibition and called for its immediate cancellation. Horrified male cabinet colleagues immediately passed a motion banning her from ever speaking again.
Meanwhile the Greek government has expressed interest in talks about a possible compromise over the return of the Elgin Marbles.