In a sensational rant earlier today Lord Sebastian Coe has hit back at those suggesting the Olympic Torch Relay is quite possibly the biggest and dullest non-event ever to have taken place on British shores.
Speaking from outside the newly completed Olympic Stadium the Tory toff raged, "That's just bloody typical of the Brit in the street. You give them a fantastic 70-day nationwide spectacle of people running down the road with a sort of lit stick thing being held aloft and they can't appreciate it. The peasants! This is classy stuff dating back to the Ancient Greeks for fuck sake! Honestly, I don't know why I bother my arse trying to give this unwashed scum a touch of class!"
But perhaps sensing a potential escalation of the incident into the wider media, Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt has moved quickly to try and defuse the situation and released this statement. "Seb's made the Olympics his life's work over the past eight years and now we are approaching the opening of the games he's understandably feeling a little exhausted and emotional. I think perhaps we all should cut him a little slack."
And Bert Onions, a so-called 'Brit in the street' from Bristol, and who recently queued for ten hours to watch the torch pass the bottom of his road commented, "I was really looking forward to seeing the torch but in the event the whole thing was a bit of a let down if I'm being honest. I was bored shitless. It was just some bloke running down the road with a lit stick - bloody awful. Bollocks in fact. Dire! If I'd paid good money to see it I'd be demanding it back with interest."