The world political stage was still reeling this morning after Greece's shock decision to stand completely still and avoid consuming anything until the debt crisis is over. Under unprecedented austerity measures, all greek citizens will be required to remain motionless and refrain from talking, eating, drinking or going to the toilet.
Shiny new greek Prime minister Antonis Samaris last night stated, "Austerity measures are the ideal solution to our debt crisis. They've worked a treat in countries such as Britain so we thought we'd save money faster. Greek people love playing musical statues anyway so this will please everyone"
Mr Samaris expressed deep regret that he couldn't be joining the rest of his country in this selfless act but explained that he had some lobster in the fridge that would go off otherwise. "Besides", he added, "someones got to answer the phones innit?".
When we asked David Cameron to comment on the comparative half heartedness of his own austerity measures, he stated, "Look, I may have gone to Eton but I'm every bit as Greek as the next man."