China is again at the centre of a human rights controversy after inexplicably launching a woman into outer space. It is believed that Liu Yang was found guilty of violating the 'one child' policy after it emerged that she didn't have any children at all. "The law is very clear", said a leading authority, "You must have one child - it's hardly rocket science."
After months of torture in special chambers, being subjected to all sorts of high pressure environments and enduring forces normally only encountered by trained NASA astronauts, Yang refused to yield to the body-stretching ordeals and was subsequently marked for launching.
China failed to keep quiet their treatment of the mother of none, even choosing to broadcast the event to the world, presumably as a warning message to those who also have a number of children not equal to one.
Prelaunch, Yang was strapped into what can only be described as a high tech straitjacket with a facial observation bowl attachment that also controls her oxygen supply, should more incentive to yield be required. She was then coerced into a giant rocket, which was fired into space after allowing only 10 seconds for her to change her mind, barked out angrily by her tormenters.
Analysts predict that Yang will be subjected to further horrors in the Tiangong space investigation chamber where any false moves could lead to her being sucked out into the void to face certain death. Accompanied by two male astronauts, it is believed she will be given the option to reconsider her position of having a number of children not equal to one.
China's actions have sparked varying degrees of response from the international community. The UK condemned the treatment of Liu Yang, the Germans once again cited China's spiralling emissions profile and lack of efficiency, and the Americans have given China first option on cheaper methods of coercion.