Police have carried out 256 early morning raids across the breadth and width of the United Kingdom, aimed at apprehending a huge gang of incandescophiles. The arrests, all of men in their late forties upwards, netted a large quantity of the lightbulbs, outlawed in the EU, in a variety of wattages.
"This kind of stuff makes me sick" said Commander Green of the Metropolitan serious schadenfreud squad "the people involved have been aqcuiring, storing and supplying incandecent bulbs, usually by means of the internet. They are very clever, hiding their revolting crimes by using low energy bulbs in external security lights, knowing full well that their warm-up time makes them useless, hoping to pass off as law abiding citizens. We have had everything today from 60W Pearl White Candles, through to 150W clear Garage lights."
Most disturbingly it has emerged that several of the larger bulbs had been shared amongst the gang, passed from one to another for "special events" such as late night barbeques.
"I cannot underline the importance of today's raids in the fight against crime" continued Commander Green, "we have stopped large scale abuse of electricity supplies, and prevented fossil fuel consumption, contributing greatly to combatting global climate change, and have made savings totalling across the country of something like 64 kilo-watts, or enough to power one small family car"
