BBC golden boy and former England footballing legend, Gary Lineker, is today involved in the biggest fight of his entire career. Bigger even than when he used to be so awful at presenting that it looked as if he wouldn't last more than two minutes in the job.
For now in the face of upcoming revelations in this weekend's Sunday Sun, the sad former ace striker has finally admitted that he has a massive addiction to potato crisps. He is believed to have become unwittingly ensnared in the terrible web of savoury potato snack abuse due largely to his appearances in countless television and billboard advertisements, where seen by millions he is cast as the face of Walkers Crisps. However today the savoury snacks giant is remaining tight-lipped on the matter issuing only the following statement. We are sorry to learn of Mr Lineker's problems but feel that it is inappropriate for us to comment at this stage.
Friends and colleagues alike are said to be glad that the news is out, and last night the star's co-presenter on Match Of The Day, Alan Hansen said, "Och, I'm relieved that Gary's gone public with this because it was becoming just terrible. He could hardly get on-set without stuffing at least five jumbo bags of Sensations down his neck - and that was just the start of it.
On live matches now he never bothers his arse watching the game if I'm being honest. He just spends the entire two halves wolfing down bag after bag of whatever he can get his hands on and then attempts 'winging it' direct to camera as we're shown replays at full and half time. Trying to cover for him during live shows in these Euro Finals has been a bloody nightmare."
And colleague Mark "Lorro" Lawrenson has charted the grim downward seedy spiral of shame for Lineker. "First it was only good gear like Walkers, M&S's own brand, Kettle Chips and that but then he started going down to Costco and bulk-buying those boxes of cheap bags that they sell in some corner shops for 10p. I've recently seen him do an entire box of 48 in one twenty minute binge."
Last night a spokesman for BBC Sport confirmed that the one million pound a year anchorman would step down immediately from presenting their remaining Euro 2012 coverage, saying that they could not confirm when the troubled star would be back at his post and adding, "We all wish Gary well during what for him and his family is sure to be a stressful and difficult time. He is now seeking professional help and has asked for the press and media to give him the space he needs that will allow him to make a full and speedy recovery."
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