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1. 

   Haywood Manley
   

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   I've long been a fan of the Uxbridge English Dictionary round in I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue and have idly come up with a few of my own over the years. Here's some if anyone's interested..

   Albino: Saudi Arabian children's comic
   Leotard: A mentally handicapped lion
   Torpedo: A child molester on top of a hill (near Glastonbury presumably)
   Paraphernalia: Camping stoves, hurricane lamps, etc

   Anyone got any more?

   Posted 1 year ago #
2. 

   Al OPecia
   

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   Rectangle: Correct position to sit on the toilet
   Ampersand: electrified beach
   Parallelogram: Post Office telecommunication to Japanese airborne troops

   Posted 1 year ago #
3. 

   beau-jolly
   

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   Shellfish: A bit like a shelf

   Posted 1 year ago #
4. 

   riesler
   

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   Tapenade - method of loosening the lid on a jar of olive paste.

   Posted 1 year ago #
5. 

   Haywood Manley
   

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   Custard: To swear like a bastard, or, an illegitimate pudding

   Posted 1 year ago #
6. 

   Duff
   

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   Buzzard: To ring doorbell with gusto.

   Garble: Tannoy announcement at French railway station.

   Plucky: Pizzicato passage for string quartet.

   Posted 1 year ago #
7. 

   Tomfinger
   

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   FROCK: Having sex while listening to a loud electric guitar ensemble

   VIRILE: Annoying six ancient Romans

   Posted 1 year ago #
8. 

   Al OPecia
   

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   Puppy: Uncontrollable disobedient destructive little bastard.

   You reading your PMs Jen?

   Posted 1 year ago #
9. 

   The All New Jeni B
   

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   Hey Al, haven't really been on, had doggy dramas of my own.
   Been back and forward to Vet hospital with a very ill Piper who looks to have liver disease quite seriously.
   Will get back to you...

   Posted 1 year ago #
10. 

    Al OPecia
    

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    Oh Dear, I hope Piper isn't suffering, good thoughts from down here.

    Posted 1 year ago #
11. 

    The All New Jeni B
    

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    Thanks Al, reply sent.

    Posted 1 year ago #
12. 

    Duff
    

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    Incandescent: What flights do when arriving at Mandelieu airport

    Prototype: Advertisement for an experienced career typist

    Pustule: A particularly horrible sweet.

    Posted 1 year ago #
13. 

    kga6
    

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    I love these.

    Extensive: How to drain a lot of pasta

    Ensemble: How cowboy spent last night at the rodeo

    Acknowledge: Scotsman's negative reply to suggestion of new mantlepiece

    Posted 1 year ago #
14. 

    Haywood Manley
    

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    Mark E. Smith: Someone who makes big tents.

    Posted 1 year ago #
15. 

    seymour totti
    

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    Hullaballo - A greeting to a bear

    Posted 1 year ago #
16. 

    dvo4fun
    

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    Swedish: A bit like a root vegetable

    Posted 1 year ago #
17. 

    simonjmr
    

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    Mandolin - description of sexual activity with Lin

    Meander - A man and woman

    Meandering - a man and woman on their wedding day

    Hotel - description of Hades

    I know the following is an acronym but I like it

    PUB - Pissed Up Bastard

    Posted 1 year ago #
18. 

    Stan Laurel
    

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    Rebuff: a born again naturist

    Posted 1 year ago #
19. 

    grumblechops
    

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    Intensive: equipment for draining pasta whilst camping
    Trample: small spot on face of homeless person
    Gonnorhea: expression acknowledging one's impending death
    Harass: lady's posterior

    Posted 1 year ago #
20. 

    Thor
    

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    Polish - a bit like an inexpensive and efficient plumber.

    Posted 1 year ago #
21. 

    Haywood Manley
    

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    Gastric: lighting one's farts.

    Posted 1 year ago #
22. 

    grumblechops
    

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    Executable – equipment used in lethal injections
    Ebay – Yorkshire market
    Flume – a chimney that weaves cotton
    Antidote – to dislike someone
    Carpet – e.g. wing mirror spider

    Posted 1 year ago #
23. 

    grumblechops
    

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    Senile: let's go to Egypt
    Invalidate: when one has been stood-up

    Posted 1 year ago #
24. 

    The All New Jeni B
    

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    Insane: Taking a dip in a Paris river.
    Hygiene: Greeting Mr Astair.
    Hijack: Greeting Jill's partner.
    Hair-raising: Volumising shampoo.

    Posted 1 year ago #
25. 

    simonjmr
    

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    Hygiene surely should be greeting Mr Kelly otherwise it would be Hyfred

    Posted 1 year ago #
26. 

    simonjmr
    

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    Ukraine - typical weather of Great Britain

    Ukraine - the act of mechanically lifting an heavy object by yourself.

    Posted 1 year ago #
27. 

    Skylarking
    

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    Omelette - a small Frenchman.

    Posted 1 year ago #
28. 

    grumblechops
    

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    Monkey: unlocks the door of a monastery

    Posted 1 year ago #
29. 

    The All New Jeni B
    

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    @Simon - yes. Bugger.

    Posted 1 year ago #
30. 

    Thor
    

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    Bugger - install covert listening device in woman’s undergarments.
    Don’t know why Jeni’s avatar made me think of that.

    Posted 1 year ago #

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