With large parts of the country on flood-alert besieged householders have been recounting their horror as they opened their doors and met an unstoppable river of regional news teams.
“They were on us in a flash” said eye witness Sheila Silvester, 47. “After the flooding subsided it was all quiet. But then came the deafening roar of regional BBC, ITV and Sky news teams surging down the High Street, followed by a 5ft wall of arc lights up the outside of my house”.
“They completely swamped the sand bags I’d put across the front door, with all my tea, biscuits and sugar being swept out by a tidal wave of regional news hacks anxious to get a bit of exposure on national news programmes. Now everyone has seen my outdated bathroom suite and swirly patterned carpets it’s going to take me months to get this place redecorated and back on its feet”.
53 year old pub landlord Kevin Bloxsome added: “I’ve seen nothing like this since the great storm of ’87 brought a forest of trainee journalists down on the village. This time they were through the door of the pub in seconds, all my stock submerged under a flash flood of hacks".
Health officials have advised the public that there shouldn’t be any long term hazards from exposure to the media although news outlets have promised to wash their hands of the local communities affected as soon as the story has faded.
With further rainfall expected householders are advised to check they are insured against floods of news teams.